Journey of Life – Tour De Tour
Is a journey all about destination? Or you think even the
passage matters..
Sometimes the path, the way, the passage makes more
difference than the destination itself..some paths change the essence of
destination so much so that either the destination becomes Ever more Important/
worthy or it ceases to be important because the journey itself is so
enriching and beautiful that its mere end takes away the beauty of destination.
As the journey makes all the possible difference I believe
how we take it also becomes important. Do we always plan for things to happen? Well
perhaps not s..and perhaps the beauty lies in randomness, unplanned-ness .
The sheer fact that you do not know what entails ahead makes it ever exciting..adventurous..
I started out life as a very wanted kid..for whom parents
fasted..visited holy places..prayed to God..but I was always a sick child.. an
over pampered sick child.. Dad wanted me to be a fighter and so he ensured I learnt
to fight in life and stand on my own..so who so ever I am today..a handsome
portion of it goes to my Dad. By Almighty’s grace I have been able to do fairly
decent for myself.
Things happen to us when we least expect it..and that makes
it magical..miraculous..beautiful..I made my own impression on self when I determined
to out do everyone academically. I came from a small place to a boarding school
in Delhi and creating a place for myself was a struggle..in the process of the
same I learnt what life is…its nuances..Yes..I learnt my first session very
early in life..
Thanks to God..I made some beautiful friends out
there..people who stood by my through all my thicks and thins..it goes out to
all the people who were all a part of the group “Rainbow” who always stood for
each other…we sailed through life holding each others hand..all 7 were
different by all means..yet bonded together..gave each other the support ads
the strength to carve out our own names..our identities.. I learnt the basics
of human relations with these 6 people who taught me the beauty of FRIENDSHIP..
the beauty of unspoken trust..faith..respect and most importantly the beauty of
“ Being there unconditionally”. Here I learnt when we truly love, we do not
seek returns.. There aint no time for calculation..
Dad said” When you do plethora of good deeds and when God
becomes a little happy with you..he gives you a friend. So if you want to know
how happy God is with ypou or how much he loves you…count your friends..they
are the true indicators of God’s mercy”. Well I do believe in it..i ought to
believe in it as my Superhero told this to me…My Dad..My Superhero… and today I
feel how true it is… Life loses its colors..its beauty if you have no one to
share it with…
Though we always strive to..we cannot keep everyone around
us happy..but that shouldn’t stop us from trying..no matter how difficult it
is..striving for it gives you the hope..the strength of the fact that you haven’t
given up..you are trying..no matter how difficult it is.. I had a pen
friend..my life’s first friend who taught me about life..he was elder to me and
helped me see life ina different life.. I will always be thankful to him for
the same.. SOmethings happened between us where I hurt him..unknowingly (but I am
sure that did not lessen his pain..for today I know what pain is..and that it doesn’t
matter if someone has hurt you knowingly..unknowingly..intentionally or un
intentionally… For I was a fool not to
respect his thoughts..i could have handled it better… from the bottom of my
heart I want to seek forgiveness for I behaved bad..very bad..n yeah u deserve
a better person…
They say when cupid strikes…world becomes a beautiful place…I
feel proud to tell you that life has touched me beautifully – for I have seen
all emotions.. when I fell in love… I fell head over heels in love..parrots
sung..lilies grew and my stomach churned at a mere glimpse of him..yes.. I know
what it is when some one says..i just skipped a beat.. for I too have skipped
numerous beats.. from crank calls to honest confession to “bahanas” for meeting
to the first coffee… I can recite you the whole story..Gosh its beautiful..
Though my first relationship happened before, it was for the first time that I actually
got to know What love is….Thanks to you..for when you read..you will know its
about you..and today I want to tell you..i have few of my life’s best memories
with you…and I will take them to grave..I am so glad that I met you for I wouldn’t
have known how it is to be helplessly in love…so my friend for life…Thanks J
Finally I found in you a friend who is a gem..you have stood
by me through my thicks and thins so that makes you my special buddy…so today
from the bottom of my heart I wish you and your beautiful better half the best
of everything in life..for it very well deserved..
I was passing in God’s test those frequently and thus I qualified
for being friends with the best of people those days..my 2 sweetheart
friends..i feel we are the TRIO – The partners in crime for a lifetime..I love
you both..Need not tell your names for anyone who knows Nazia will know you else
they don’t know me…
My bestest friend..Ms Tall and beautiful green eyed
beauty..its difficult to decide who is more beautiful- your looks or your
soul.. For you are the sweetest and most clear hearted person I have ever met
in life – My soul sister..you connect with my soul..Thanks for being my Best
Friend for I know what it is to share giggles and tears with someone…
People told me stories about corporate world..but no one
told me sometimes God decides for us to meet the people who inspire us the
most..some one whose courage and confidence is awe inspiring.. A real fighter
with a heart of Gold..My friend..my mentor..my elder sister..coz I have you..i
never miss having a an elder sister who is so possessive about me..who really
cares..loves and treats me like a kid..
Mere Bachpan ke dost..what should I say about you.. You are
my Life’s FIRST FRIEND with whom I learnt to speak..write an ABCD.. shared the
first day of school..though I do not say it this often but when I look at you..
I want to bend my head in front of God for blessing me with a real friend when I
did not even know the – forget meaning even the spelling of friend.. The way
you care about me unconditionally…without much noise..the way you ensure I am
happy safe and sound.. the way I count on you..closing my eyes..i am sure my
guiding angel must be similar to you..You are the Best…
And finally I get to meet the love of my life..yes..first
honest confession…for today I don’t care what the whole world thinks…If today I
know what it is to love some “ from the completeness of ones being” I know it
because of you.. You happened to me and I am not the same anymore… for the
first time I have to pause and think of the words to describe who you
are.. when I was pained in life..had
lost hope..you happened to me..you are my angel.. I had not expected anyone
that time..and see what God did..He sent you to me…you taught me to take a leap
of faith again in life..i cant forget my lifes most beautiful moments spent
with you. Nothing has ever been more beautiful..nothing can ever be.. The cup
of hot water in the mid of the night coz I was coughing..or my hard days at
hospital when you stood for hours ensuring the drip water hasn't finished and
that oxygen mask didn’t fall while I am asleep… The way you bore with me the
days I behaved crazy..like a party when you walked with me with food in plate
and told me stories so that I atleast eat 5-6 bytes..Mid night fights..stupid
quarrels when finally the fight broke over your stupid 'goat' email…and yeah I also
cant forget that one last goodbye kiss on my forehead ..
And your absence was the biggest pain..a killer..you came to
introduce me to life again and you left me..ohh what a loss..that day of 27th
July 2012. I lost love..forever..i lost you..i lost my faith in life..i relive
all those days till then everyday..smile on my own at the silly paani fights
that we did..those dosas we ate..those dark secrets we shared… I lost a piece
of my soul with you and its an irreparable loss..i feel as if I have put a piece
of my soulf..my life in grave..all left with you…
And all that was remaining was not you but your
shadow..someone I don’t know..some one who doesn’t understand what was that I had
with you..for he is not you..you left me..but you will always be a part of me…for
ever…I will always carry a piece of you with me..till the time I am alive..i
thank God with all my heart to atleast let me experience what true love is…how
beautiful it is..how full filling..I felt complete with you…
These days I often see someone who resembles you..but is not
you..for it can never be that you don’t recognize me..you are my angel if you
wont then no one will ever recognize me..not even the mirror.. He hurted me..he
said I am no one..i don’t matter…for you cant ever say that…I know it.. What hurted
the most was not separation but the deficiency of truth.. Had he told me the
practicality of un togetherness I would have taken some time but accepted
it..but when I was hurt the most he told me I aint no mean anything to him and that there
is someone else..only to tell later that it wasn’t the truth and it was said to
hurt me… truth would have been difficult but I deserved it..some patience would
have been required but it was important..think of it..when I look back..how
much it will pain me..that he did not even think that I deserve some respect..
I understand the practicality…but this escapism has killed
me..and this lie..it makes me die everyday.. everytime that I look at mirror..i
feel left… and you could not have hurt me..you would have taken time..sat
beside me and helped me sail through these difficult days of my life.. he
shouted..he hurt..he lied and I stay bleeding..left for dying…you were my savior…
Though I never decided for it…but you are the most beautiful
part of my life..i have buried you deep in my heart.. with you I have felt
things I never thought I was capable of…I have become numb..i am grieving… coz no
matter how strong I become or behave…I am still made of wax…
You will probably laugh at this but I see you almost
everywhere..most of the people I meet in life..do something or the other that I
get reminded of you.. everything reminds me of you..I have and I still love you
the most..see what did a time pass made of me..n I always thought it was just a
time pass..and now without you..the time has come to a standstill…but since you
are in me..my soul..we are bounded for a lifetime..and the other person I do not
know..will think of him as a mirage.. something that doesn’t exist..a fallacy.. someone
who claims to be like you but aint you..and since it aint you…I don’t care who
or what he is…he has made me hate the mirror…but that’s ok..i will be fine…
So..i will still keep talking to you..like always... those
little secrets that we share..the talks we do.. the paani paani that we
play..food..hospital, mukteshwar..27th july..i am taking all of you
with me..Thanks for happening to me..you are my angel..The best thing that
could have ever happened to me..I feel lucky to have had you in life…mini me –
u complete me..
Meeting you was not planned or even expected but this De
Tour that life took has been the most precious things that life has gifted me
with.. Now I agree..randomness if beautiful..fate has lotsa things in store..
and these de tours must be taken..for you never know who will you bump into JJJ
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